I want to run something by you, but first I have to tell you a story...
After my golden retriever Bear passed away last month, I decided to quit music. It wasn't Bear's passing that made me decide that. Losing him was just the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak.
We've invested a lot of time and energy and money into making music a go, sacrificing just about everything else, but it has seemed to have little reward and led to a lot of disappointments. Of course, there have been good things, too, that are nothing to sneeze at, but not enough to make it seem like we're making a difference.
After we got back from a music conference this past September, we were exhausted and running really low on hope. I didn't touch my guitar for about 3 months. Didn't write any new stuff. Then Bear got sick, and it was like my world stopped. And what little hope and gusto I had left for life was sucked away.
So, I decided I just wanted to quit. I'd just gotten so tired of being disappointed. I really want to be happy. It's really hard to keep going when you want what you do to matter in people's lives, but it doesn't seem to, no matter how hard you work at it. And the entertainment industry in general leaves me little hope for music that's supposed to matter. I figured we'd fulfill the last of our gig obligations and then we'd just fade out of the scene. We wouldn't schedule any more stuff, and that would be that.
That WMNF benefit at Sacred Grounds was one of those last gigs. . . that's when you came along...
Honestly, if not for you, I'd still be done in my mind. In some ways, I still am, but after I got to know you a little bit, quitting didn't seem like an option - at least not right now. After seeing your video on your myspace profile from Anytown where you wrote that letter about your life, it made the struggles I'd faced in life seem like . . . I don't know the word. Like. . . just so "small." It almost seemed shameful to me that I'd raised my surrender flag. You have faced so many more difficult struggles in life than I have, but you've kept on going. How can I quit after seeing you push on?
I can't keep going for me right now. I just don't have the energy or the vision and hope for it. But because of the inspiration you've given me, I can get up and move again - at least right now. Your story is an inspiration to me. And I know you're an inspiration to so many other people, too.
Which leads me to my question...
I want to post a blog about us shooting this video with you for "Different People" on myspace and on the news section of our website. I wanted to talk a little about what I've told you above, and I wondered if it is Ok for us to share your story in that blog. I was hoping to include that video of you from Anytown in the blog, if that's OK with you. I just want to be sure you're OK with it before I go ahead with it. Hearing your story brought tears to my eyes and inspired me. You've faced so many challenges in life, and you didn't let them knock you down. A lot of people could learn something from you (including me). You're a role model and an inspiration.
Let me know. Love and hugs, -Sheila